Remember long summer days and nights being a kid, always on the move, sweating from sun up till sun down and not even being tired from it all?

I have fond memories of growing up in West Michigan. Waking up at what felt like the but crack of dawn, but very well could have been mid afternoon for all I knew. In our youth, more so then now, summer didn’t really have a clock. I’d barely have the eye boogers scrapped from the corner of my eyes and I’d already be hopping on my bike and just going wherever the day took me. Actually there was a small group of us, and we would go everywhere on our bikes! We’d just run, and sweat and not be any wiser. Right? We were boys, running through the woods or playing football, building forts, finding trails to get lost in. I’d be gone every night until the street lights turned on. This was a world without cellphones. So until the sound of one of the neighborhood parents voices rang out like an adolescent homing beacon, traveling between the houses, down the streets, through the heavily wooded area’s… hell it could have bounced off the moon for all I know… but until we, or more importantly I, was summoned in for the night, I was on the move.

What is the point of all of this? I assure you that there is one.

I’m long winded.

Get used to it.

The point is, as a child I was always on the go. Always moving. But never tired.

Now, I’m always tired and barely ever on the move. Is it age? Is it just because I’m out of shape?

I’m clearly out of shape. I need to get on the treadmill or when the weather clears, get on a bike and get my ass moving again. But it just feels like work now. When I was a kid, it was fun. Biking was transportation. Now it’s just no fun, sweaty, work.

I hate work that makes me sweat. It’s gross. If I wanted wet clothes, I’d be a fisherman!

Now, half the struggle in getting to the gym is finding the mental motivation to just get myself to workout. I’m not sure if it’s because there is no group of friends to meet up with anymore as an activity, but there is no fun in sweating anymore. It’s just self imposed punishment with a soundtrack! For what? For my health? Yeah… that sounds fun.

The other half, after building up the motivation, is actually running for longer than 4 to 5 minutes. Around that time my brain is screaming at me to ABORT! My legs are wobbly like a new born baby deer, and I’m already sweating like a fat man at a cake eating contest with a delicious Habanero frosting.

Really selling the sexy, I’ll bet.

So here’s the cold hard truth. I’m back to feeling like crap. I’m also back to being sick of feeling like crap.

I get out of the shower and I barely recognize the man in the mirror. The mirror that conveniently stands directly across from the shower door. Gone are the days of the Ryan Reynolds chiseled abs and the toned body of a master yoga instructor! Okay, it was never like that. But fond memories through rose colored glasses and self induced body shaming has led me to believe it was…and it needs to be again.

For the first time in 20 years I started to run again. I was working out. I had a goal of losing 25 pounds or more by the summer of 2018 and actually taking my shirt off outside of the bathroom and in public without feeling like everyone is pointing and laughing. This was in the fall of 2017. But by Christmas, the weather was worthless. My drive time one way to work, and then home, had added an additional 30 minutes each way. Then like normal, I got busy doing other things, and all of a sudden it’s been 3 months since I’ve been to the gym. The weird thing is, I actually miss it.

For the last few weeks I’ve been trying to mentally motivate myself to pull off at the exit that leads to the Planet Fitness. In the backseat I’ve got a black Under Armor bag packed with workout clothes and running shoes just waiting to be carried in and used, but so far I’ve not been able to convince myself to veer off.

The good news is, I think I’m there. Mentally. But with working out comes dieting. No point in doing one with out the other. I do think today is the day though. Today is the day I pull off the highway and head back into the gym. I’m behind on my summer goal, but I’m sick of feeling like shit. I’m sick of looking like shit. Which unfortunately might be the blessing of the genes I was given… but I can at least workout to feel better, and it does feel better. There’s truth to the fact that you get a “High” from working out…or running. Yes my legs want to stop running after 5 minutes but I pushed through it before and I ended up working myself up to running a couple miles or more in just the second week. I started to feel that “runners high” and I can see why people get addicted to it!

Hey, I’m already addicted to energy drinks, maybe I can just become addicted to running instead? Truth be told I’d rather still be a kid and just run for the fun of it. But I just turned 40 years old this past October and I know I need to run for more than just the fun of it … Perhaps I just need to update my workout soundtrack. Care to recommend some good music?